Tour de Cupcakes, Seattle

"Surely one measure of a city's arrival as a metropolis is the onset of savage rivalries over...cupcakes. Perhaps you thought cupcakes were harmlessly cute. How wrong you were."

-Seattle Metropolitan Magazine

Wrong? The Wheadons as our witnesses, our last encounter with cupcakes on February 2, 2007 was, in fact, harmlessly cute (okay, and maybe just a little creepy):

The only picture we took of these little groundhogs was on a regular cake.

Lindy and Mandy made cupcake versions of these.

But then again that was in Provo, UT which is not quite "metropolis" material.

Seattle, however, is, and according to Seattle Metropolitan Magazine's "Best of City" issue (Calley, it's yours when you get here), there is a new "Best Cupcake" in town.

As soon as we read this, we (and by "we" in this instance I mean "me, Lindy") decided we had to find out 1) if we agreed with SMM's verdict and 2) why all the fuss about cupcakes? Could the tale of this seeming craze be called "The Emperor's New Cupcake?" To find answers to these crucial questions, we embarked on the Tour de Cupcakes, Seattle.

We were very shrewd and serious investigatory journalists.

The Tour was extensive with its two whole stops: Cupcake Royale (the Seattle original) and Trophy Cupcakes (the brand new thing).

Trophy was our first stop on the map. On our way there, we discussed what we were doing.

Lindy: "You're not as excited about whole this thing as I am, are you?"

Kelly: "I am just prepared to be completely underwhelmed. They are cupcakes."

Trophy Cupcakes

At Trophy Cupcakes we sampled Vanilla/Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Chip varieties. The presentation was adorable: aqua blue cupcake dish for two, forks, little napkins and ice water delivered in cute little glass glasses.

Lindy's Reaction: Love at first sight. I am a sucker for good branding and ambiance. But I did my best to separate aesthetics from actual cupcake taste, and I am pretty sure if I ate a Trophy Cupcake in a sewer, it would still be a little piece of buttery, sugary heaven.

Kelly's Reaction: I thought they were fun. For a cupcake, it was really good. But it was still a cupcake. I would go back to have another sometime, but if I were to pick a dessert, it probably wouldn't be a cupcake.

Cupcake Royale

At Cupcake Royale we sampled The Ballerina (Vanilla/Pink vanilla frosting) and Red Velvet (Red cocoa-based cake/cream cheese frosting). Presentation was already lacking: regular plates, no forks and get-your-own water in cafeteria-style cups.

A true cupcake comparison comes by comparing vanillas. Other flavors can be bold enough to hide flaws. Upon tasting The Ballerina, we immediately realized, Seattle Metropolitan Magazine's verdict was dead on: Trophy definitely has the better cupcakes.

Cupcake Royale has a few things going for it: 1) a little bar along the plate glass, street-facing window, 2) warmed plates and 3) a hipness factor that would replace "cute" with "cool" as the preeminent adjective to describe cupcakes.

Otherwise, it was a total disappointment. The cupcakes were dry and the frosting was not nearly as delicious as the precious sprinkled swirl would lead you to believe. Betty Crocker makes better cupcakes than Royale.

Washing it all down
At the end of the glorious Tour, we turned to Jamba to flush our systems of so much butter and refined sugar. It was too late. The sugar already set in.